January is the month where there are a lot of celebrations and happenings. If you thought all the booze drinking and merry making stopped after the celebration of the News years, then you are wrong my friend. The leaving of 2013 and the start of the 2014 was just a starting point for an incredible year ahead. This is true especially for my fellow Aklanons. The first month of the year is often the most celebrated time in Aklan because it implies that Ati-atihan is drawing near. This means devotees from different demographics (from crazy teenagers, little kids and kids at heart) will be thanking and celebrating their patron saint Sr. Santo Nino while street dancing all through the night  with the beating of the drums and their face painted with God knows what.

What I like about celebrations like this, whether they’re festivals or just simple get together, are the drunks. I guess we’ve been on that side of the fence. We’ve experience being the observer and the person being observed. In my (almost) four years in college this are the kind of drunks I managed to come across.

1.       The Crier


I’m sure, we’ve all encountered this friend and I bet some of you had been in their shoes. Trust me, I’ve been there and I’m not going back. This is one of the most common kinds of drunk because most people tend to drink their troubles away, drown the problem with alcohol. However, instead of drowning their problems they end up drowning their friends with their tears. They can hold back their alcohol but not the drama.

2.       The Sleeper


They just sleep when they get drunk. This is good, if you’re drinking in a place where a bed or a couch is around because they’ll just quietly find their way to one of those and sleep but you’re not in luck if you’re in a bar. I remember when we had a friend who fell asleep at Smallville (a place in Iloilo City where people gather to party and drink). We were drinking and suddenly she just fell of her chair. We were so shocked. She was aslee and to top it all off, she was the heaviest amongst all of us and we had to carry her around. The upside was we got to slap her.

3.       The Deep Meaningful Conversation(er)

4.       The Text-er

Keep the phone away from this friend. This friend has the tendency to get in deep shit the next morning if you don’t take their smart phones away from them. They may keep on shouting “Where’s my fucking phone? Give me my fucking phone?” but despite that you should never surrender to their will. It’s for their own good. Drunk dialing and drunken texting someone can go in so many ways and you don’t want that, do you?

5.       The Runner


Grab a leash because this friend is hard to catch. These are the kind of drunks who likes to run, run and run with their hands in air and screams like they just don’t care. Carry a leash, lasso or a pair of sneakers with you when you’re with this fellow.

6.       The One who thinks they’re sober


Oh! One of my favorites!

“Im sober guys”

“Di pa ako lasing”

“I’m awesome! Let go. I can do it”

The next thing you know he or she can’t even stand or walk straight and eventually falls flat.

7.       The Laugher


They just laugh, laugh and laugh and most of the time for no reason at all.

8.       The Life and Soul


They’ll get you dancing and laughing. They’re the life of the party.

9.       The Idiot


Yes, in every drunken moment someone makes the crazy stunt and not remember a thing the next morning. He or She will be remembered as the idiot who tried to throw a hamster hoping for it to turn into Pikachu.

10.   The Englishman

In the Philippines, the Englishman is very popular. These are those drunken heads who will start speaking in English when they’re already drunk. My friend’s evolution from sober to the Englishman starts from (1) Aklanon (2) Filipino (3) Hiligaynon (4) English and then when she’s still up for it she ends the night with (5) Martian.

11.   The Loud Person


This loud person talks as if there are a thousand earplugs in their ear.

12.   The Happy Person


They just show that high happy smile. He or she will just smiles the entire night like a person who scored some pot.

13. The Puker


I think the word says it all.

I’m looking forward to add more to the list. I know liquor is a multimillion industry that brainwashes us about life like: partying is more fun with alcohol and that the cool kids are those who drink and shit like that (which aren’t true).

However once in our life, I guess we should try to get drunk. I mean it’s not purely wrong to have a drink or two or three, it’s not the drinking that matters anyways, it’s the company. You think people can act like one of those drunken people listed above if they’re not with their trusted friends? I may not be able to party this Atiatihan but I’m looking forward for more wasted nights with my friends and even more success. Sometimes you just have to break loose.


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