It’s been almost a week since my attempt on radical honesty. So far I’m still intact (thank God). I might say… a week of operation fat liar did me some good. It felt pretty detoxifying. It cleansed me from all the guilt of lying and at the same time my brain didn’t have to work so hard by keeping up with all the lies. So, radical honesty stripped me off the extra weight. I guess that’s why they call liars, fat.
Anyway, in my days of radical honesty I learned a few things. One of which is that Lying requires brains.
One lie leads to another and you have to keep track of all of it. It’s like your own room where it may look like a complete mess for your mom but you know exactly where to find your stuff. They say that only really smart people can pull off this two-faced dance successfully and honestly that doesn’t surprise me:
According to an article in The Brain Bank,
“When we lie, brain cells in the prefrontal cortex – the planning, ‘executive’ of the brain – work harder than when we tell the truth. This may be reflected in the physical structure of our brains as well: pathological liars have been shown to have more white ‘wiring’ matter and less grey matter in the prefrontal cortex of their brain than other people.”
It makes sense because you have to be consistent all the time, remembering the previous lie and connecting them to the other. It’s like a work of art but it’s a tiring work of art. You have to live in two worlds – your reality and your pretend world. It’s complicated, frustrating and stressful. All those brain cells wasted if you’ll eventually get caught. UGH!
So, honesty isn’t that bad. It takes away the stress from all the thinking and saves your brain cells from going bananas. Plus it’s a good way to help you with anger management. I mean it’s better that you tell them what you think rather than bottling everything inside, right? I know it seems irrational of me because instead of filtering your words you have to blurt out what you think and probably regret afterwards but I think it’s healthy especially when you say what you truly feel because it makes you feel better, lighter. But preferably save it in ways that can actually constructive. It’s also a good way to strengthen personal relationships. When I’m mad with my sister or my mother or my father, I just tell them. Let all hell break loose. (Crazy)
Honesty also does you, your friends and your loved ones a favor. I mean, I’d rather hear it from my friends that I’m being such a prick than to hear it from others. They know me better enough to judge me and if they think I’m exceeding my limit then I’ll gladly take it. Another scenario is when your sister asks you if she looks good in what she’s wearing. You can either say “yes” for a number of reasons: because you’re already in a hurry and if you say no it’ll probably take her another 30 minutes to put on another outfit or because you don’t want to hurt her feelings but if you really love your sister and that top is not doing her a favor then you say “no” because it really won’t help if you lie. You see, it takes maturity to actually accept the truth but it takes balls to say the truth.
So did I grow some balls after this experiment?
Well, honestly, after a week of operation fat liar, I can say I did grow a ball but growing the other one would probably take me time. I realized that I can’t seem to turn off my filter when it comes to being honest about other people’s flaws. I guess, being a pathological white liar is hard wired within our system. I guess, I was only 75% honest (lame right?).
Don’t judge! Before you say anything I saw this video from Brain Games (click link below) which caught my attention. Hopefully this could justify why I couldn’t be an all-out 100% Honest Abe.
Besides from his really cute smile and his accent he does have a point. But in a society where lying has always been wrong where do we stand as human beings? If this is our way of adaptation, should we go against our natural ways because of a norm dictated by the society (Thou shall not lie)? A norm which if I may add seems like “mission impossible”?
So, honesty does have its own perks. No more searching in memory-ville to figure out what alibi you told Jake in order to sync with your alibi for Anna. No more bottling resentments for other people and no more deceiving people. But I think it’s going to be hard for us to be honest all the time ans just say what’s on your mind. I can’t be like Sheldon Cooper (although I find him so adorkable)
I think, Jason Silva in Brain Games was right, that “the act of lying links to the evolution of survival”. Lying is a way of life.
To finish this off, I would say that although this had been a great experience I think pure radical honesty isn’t my cup of coffee. I’m not willing to blurt out all my thoughts out in the open yet. Words carry weight and once you say something you can’t really take it back. However, we should definitely prepare ourselves for a world of radical honesty (hopefully with a hint of civility on the side?). In a world where every second of your life is seen on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and so on, we should always be ready for the truth to come out because IT will eventually come out. No matter what.